RANT

How Do You Think Societal Norms and Behaviors Influence Our Behaviors and Choices?

Everyday that I scroll on social media, there is always something wild that pops up on my screen. I see young kids, doing things that young kids shouldn't be doing. I see older people not behaving in a manner that is appropriate to their age. I see kids grabbing older women in places they shouldn't. I see young people robbing single mothers. There are so many things in today's world that is allowed because we are desensitized to so many things.

Yeah, people complain about all the bad things but no one does anything about it. In today's blog I want to talk about how allowance and lenience leads to normalized behavior.

What is "Normalized Behavior"?

Normalized behavior refers to actions, attitudes, or patters of conduct that are widely accepted, endorsed, or considered typical within a particulat society, culture, or group. These behaviors can also be seen as conforming to established norms and standards, and they may vary across different social contexts and time period.

Normalization begins at home

Once kids see that the adults around allow them to act a certain way, they think it's alright to approach everyone and everything else the same way.

Example:

Let's say the parents curse at the house so the child picks up a cursing habit. The first time the child curses in front of the parents, the parents laugh. The next time the kid curses in front of their parent, the parent brushes it off again. That is where it starts.

When y'all, parent, allow kids to do anything, they think it's alright to repeat that same behavior outside.

There was a time when kids knew not to curse in front of grown folks; you know, kids had to display some form of respect. Kids these days do not have those same morals. Why? Because mom and dad made them feel it was okay to behave poorly.

Normalization in Relationships

Women complain a lot about the dating pool nowadays but a lot of the things we complain about is our fault.

Allow me to explain before y'all come to me with your pitch forks.

There are a lot of women who condone cheating. There are two types of condone-er's here:

The women who openly lets her partner to cheat because, "men will be men," or "men are not built to be monogamous."
The women who forgives their partner after they cheat for the first time and keeps taking their partner back after every cheating scandal. The women in this category change their men into serial cheaters.

Take for example Bridgerton.

(I know the show is fiction but the time period is accurate.)

What did men do in that time? Men had to court women. Men had to treat women with respect. Men had to remian chaste. Same with women. There was a certain standard that had to be upheld before someone could get a life partner.

You notice that things started to take a turn during the 1970's/1980's when people started to become sexually fluid. Except in today's time, women are still expected to uphold the standard of a 1950's wife. Men get praised for having sex with anything walking while a women will get criticized until her dying breathe. Who allowed that to happen?

Society.

You want to talk about how learned behavior shapes the mind? I'll being up another ficitional character.

In "The Color Purple", Celie tells Harpo to beat Sofia. Why do you think that idea came into her mind?

Celie was forced into a cruel marriage when she was young girl. Even before she got married, her father treated her with so much cruelty. Celie is someone that thought the only way Harpo could get Sofia to get in line was to beat her because that was all she knew.

Y'all have no idea how much traumatic exposure at such a young age forms the mind of a young person into thinking certain behaviors are acceptable.

This is the most insane case I have ever heard.

A friend told me about how this girl was raped as young girl. The young girl had been violated so much as a child that she thought that rape was the way real sex should be done. That girl carried this learned behavior to her adult relationship. The girl now has a kink where she only gets in the mood if her and her boyfriend role play as rapist and victim...

When you've been told a lie so many times, there comes a time where you actually start to believe it. This happens a lot in relationships where men or women will be with awful people for so long and then they convince themselves that being treated that terrible way is normal. Mind you, this is just at the nuclear level.

How Does Society Shape Nuclear Relationships?

If no one says anything wrong, then ideally, nothing is wrong. This is what I mean. Watch the clip below:

I don't know about y'all, but I am shocked. Why? Because in my corner of the world, this is would not fly. In certain parts of the world, the behavior displayed by the husband would not be allowed. In fact, I am sure the man would not have made it to the end of the wedding reception without being dealt with.

In this particular clip, the worst anyone does is gasp.

Do you know how normal this behavior has to be for (a) the reaction by the audience to be gasp; at best, (b) for him to slap his wife publicly on their wedding day.

ON THEIR WEDDING DAY...

If he can do such pubicly without repercussions, God only knows what he will do behind closed doors. Who will the wife run to if this was allowed in public?

I'll take it a step further

There is a TEDx talk where this women argues that pedophilia should be accepted as a sexual orientation...

Do you know how many sick freaks would pounce at the opportunity to act on their desires should pedophilia be legalized? The only reason why so many people don't indulge in it now is because it's illegal.

Once again, in some parts of the world, it is allowed and NORMALIZED for man (example age 40) to date and marry a girl (age 12). The crazy part is, no one would bat an eye at it.

Society dictates the perception of what is right and wrong.

Normalization of Gun Violence

A lot of people complain about how guns are a huge problem in America. The truth is, they aren't wrong. However, I think the real problem is the person carrying the gun.

Getting rid of guns won't stop the violence. If a dangerous person wants to commit a crime they will find a way to do so.

The problem isn't the guns; it's the normalization of carrying a gun. What makes gun culture even scarier is the fact that there are people who will wave a gun in another person's face as if it's a joke.

Exactly like the man in the gif above. At any point in time, he could have accidentally pulled the trigger and his face would be on a T-shirt.

Let's take the gun topic a step further. Let's discuss how people pulled guns out on their significant others.

If you don't know how to have a difficult conversation and keep your emotions in check, you do not need to have a gun. If you're in a relationship and someone tells you a hard truth and you have a gun in your hand...you might mess around and end that persons life because you acted on impulse.

What's worse? The kids see this behavior and try to emulate it. The "adults" that are around the kid think it's cute and funny. The child now thinks it's ok to play with guns and to threaten people with guns. The right thing to do, is to educate the kid that guns are not for play. Make it clear to the kid, that guns are for adults. If the kid wants to learn how to use a gun, tell the kid that you'll teach them when they are old enough and mature enough to use such a tool responsibly.

I don't condone violence but I do understand a situation where a kid may need to stick up for themselves. Teach your child how to do that. Yoiur child should not pick up a gun in order to defend themselves. If you're kid can't defend themselves, then they should sit down.

While were on the topic of violence, it's quite scary that someone can get stabbed mercilessly in public and no one does anything about it. In the clip of the incident, the bystanders are just sitting as if it's any other day in the UK.

Everyone is sat in the train like Adele was at that basketball game.

How Normalization Has Changed Over Time?

Up until the 1970's, there was clear distinction of genders. It was simple. The baby was either a male or a female. Now, the baby can decide what gender it wants to be.
Up until 1930/1940, women and men had very distinct types of clothings/styles. Now, both women and men wear earings. Now, women and men, wear skirts, pants, heels, etc.
Once upon a time, people could refer to homosexual men as "f*g's" and no one would think anything of it. In today's time, someone would get cancelled for that.
There was a time when if a girls nudes got leaked online, she would disappear. Now, people willingly show their nakedness without shame.
Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community was a huge taboo; in some parts of the world, it still is. Of course, in different time periods, lesibanism and gayism were a thing, but those types of relationships were not openly allowed until recently.
In the early 90's/ early 2000's, there are so many shows where women with certain figures or bigger back sides would get criticized for their shape. Do you know, how know that BBL culture is running rampant at the moment? It's so bad that, if a women's body looks too good, they get accussed of getting a BBL. And if you've never had a BBL, someone will try to convince you that the only way to look attractive is through a BBL. 20+ years ago, BBL was not a thing.

These are just a few examples of how normaliztion has changed our reality, as humans, on so many occasions over the millenials. Take some time to think about all the things we do in our current time and how those things may or may not have been normal things to do in different eras.

All I wanted to say is...

Noramlized isn't an issue until soceity decideds to normalize the wrong things. Stop normalizing behavior that you know is wrong; behavior that you know that could land yourself, or someone else, in a bad situation. If you believe a lie long enough, eventually you will forget the truth.

Like the brilliant Jenifer Lewis once said,

"You sit in shit too long, it stops smelling."

Stop allowing people do do bad thing for your amusement. You never know when that bad behavior will rear its ugly head towards you.

Thank you for reading today's post. I hope you not understood my point but also enjoyed reading my thoughts. I would to know what you all think about the topic:

"How Do You Think Societal Norms and Behaviors Influence Our Behaviors and Choices? "

Once again, thank you for reading and have a lovely day!